From the moment we landed in Paris, I was not in the mood to deal with there bullshit. If you are wondering why, refer back to my Amsterdam post. We landed at the airport and at this point of the day all me and Christine wanted was to get to our Air BNB and sleep for days. We are completely aware that we are in a foreign country and English is not the native language, with that being said if you are a taxi driver and you know how to speak English do not speak French to me when you see that I am obviously making up words and just saying “wee wee” at the end of them while trying to describe where I am located so you can pick me up. After 3 canceled taxis we finally got one to take us from the airport to our Air Bnb. I tend to try to be social with taxi drivers since they should know the best local things to do, places to see  etc. but with me not speaking an ounce of French, this taxi driver ignored every question I asked him with a miserable look on his face and zero eye contact at all, which at this point I was fine with because honestly I felt horrible anyways so there we sat on a half hour taxi ride with all 3 of us being miserable together.  Upon arriving at our Airbnb we exited the cab paid our fare and I gave the driver a very undeserving tip, then like Shakespeare himself possessed his body this guy all a sudden knew every world in the English dictionary and smiling from ear to ear…..asshole

Where we stayed in Paris.

We rented an Airbnb that was tucked away on a pretty busy street next to a few bakery’s and stores in an area that wasn’t very touristy at all. Once we arrived we met the mother of the apartments owner at our place we were staying. Much like us we did not speak an ounce of each others language so we simply both smiled a lot at each other as we preformed some sort of weird drug dealish exchange of the apartment keys. The place was small but very nice and the location was great. Christine and I proceed to go inside drop our bags in the room and take a much needed nap. With us both waking up and still feeling “sick” (again if your wondering why refer back to our Amsterdam post) we thought to ourselves lets try to eat something. We wonder down the street and find something “French” looking so we wonder in completely under dressed and out of place. They immediately sat us in a corner by ourselves where us trolls belong. Looking back we really should have learned some French, they presented us with a menu all in French asked us a few question (we think) where we responded with no words and again with just awkward smiles. We proceeded to point to the menu and ordered food that neither one of us had any idea what it would be. I got some pasta dish and Christine got a weird looking pizza with what looked like a raw egg on top of it. My dinner sucked Christine’s was decent. We immediately went back to our Air BNB and went back to bed.

The following day we still felt horrible, and slept all day except for the brief adventure we took next door to get an random assortment of baked goods which were outstanding.

The third day, we finally felt alive again and had a big day planned. Eiffel tower, General site seeing and the Louvre. Unfortunately Weather was not on our side. We started off the day finding a map and navigated our way to the Eiffel tower, on the way there we had to stop in a store to ask directions which again ended in awkward smiles and hand singles since neither one of us knew what we were saying. Once we figured out where we were going we stopped and got a crescent which was life changing. I have always heard how great the creasants are in France but this is the one thing in France that actually lived up to the hype. As we continued our walk to the Eiffel tower I got suckered into buying Christine a new selfie stick from a street vendor from Kenya who actually spoke some English and the few euros we spent on this one worked way better then the $40 one we bought in the States and broke in Amsterdam.

Eiffel Tower Paris:

As miserable of a time we were having in Paris up to this point the Eiffel tower was a relief to see. It was a moment of clarity and excitement you experience standing in front of an icon you have seen your whole life. It made us both feel grateful and excited to be standing in front of it. What better way to celebrate it then take 100 of the most basic selfies know to mankind with the tower behind us. As we made our way around the tower the rain started to come down so we ran to the nearest cover and it happened to be a Funnel cake trailer where we decided to see if it would stop and in the meantime stuff our faces with funnel cakes. Needless to say it didn’t stop raining so we jumped in a bicycle taxi and headed to the Louvre

The Louvre Paris:

When we arrived to the Louvre it was still raining so we pulled out our umbrella and laughed at all the people capitalizing on selling umbrellas for ridiculous prices to the soaking wet tourists. But not us, for the first time in our lives we were prepared for this. When we came to the Louvre there was a massive line to get in so we decided to suck it up and wait in the pouring rain to get in. As the weather proceeded  to get worse a gust of wind came through and broke our umbrella, so now we are standing there cold, wet and frustrated in line. So trying to make the best of a bad situation I tried to hunt down one of those street vendors who we were laughing at earlier in the day. I finally found one and came back to the line and waited about another hour to get into the museum. When we finally got in we were filled with immediate regret, neither one of us are into art and being cold and wet wasn’t helping.  We continued on our way and say the main attractions. This size of this place is absolutely amazing it is just filled with countless works of art with the majority of them being so painfully boring you want to rip your eyes out, but every once in a while you pass a piece of art and appreciate the value of it. The Mona Lisa is not one of those pieces of art, you pretty much cant get close to it, their is a massive amount of people in this small room trying to see this small piece of art that quite honestly is pretty ugly. After we saw the Mona Lisa, we decided this place is just not the place for us so we power walked our way through some more sections of the museum and tried to soak in as much as we could before we finally said were done with this. We made our way outside where the weather was starting to clear up and that famous sewage smell Paris is know for took into full effect, literary the whole city smells like piss.

The rest of Paris:

The rest of our time in Paris consisted of aimlessly walking around taking in the sites, we stopped at a nice restaurant down a random ally way where the food was decent and the atmosphere was very “french like” but overall I was not a big fan of Paris, the people were not welcoming, the city smelled like piss and the food was not good at all (other then the crescents) I would be willing to go back to Paris to try it again but to me it wasn’t all it was hyped up to be.