Oh Amsterdam. Prepare yourselves for this one guys! Amsterdam was our first european stop, ever. I never had a big desire to go there, or even knew much of where it was located but it was one of the cheapest places in europe to fly into so i was down. We only booked 2 nights because we figure it would be a very uneventful city but boy were we wrong. Let me start from the begging….We landed in amsterdam around 10pm and took the metro to the center of the city. Then walked under a mile to our hostel. This was not only our first time in europe but our first hostel. Excitement doesn’t begin to describe it. We dropped our backpacks at the hostel and headed out to explore. We grabbed a few drinks and walked around a lot, eager to see the city, “coffee” shops and the infamous red light district. No plan to partake in any of the action but just to say we saw it. I repeat, never in a million years did we plan to partake in anything. The red light district was a lot smaller than I had imagined. There were no crowds of people, it wasn’t busy in the slightest (granite it was a wednesday night, but the rest of the city was busting so I was surprised that we didn’t see many people in that area.) It was one street with maybe 5-10 store fronts that had women in the windows. Many who were just sitting on a chair in lingerie, looking at their phones. It wasn’t raunchy dancing and motioning to come in and get a “service”, which is what I was expected. Honestly the girls seemed quite bored. We saw one guy walking of a store (house, brothel? Idk what to call them!) and he just put his head down and scurried away. The street did not seem dangerous to be on at all. Quite the uneventful 5 minute walk down the street all in all. At this point we were quite exhausted from our flight, we grabbed some FEBO and went back to slept.The next morning we were up bright and early to go see the Anne Frank House! We stopped for our first European espresso on the way. (Honestly they are so much stronger than in the states. Instantly, we were obsessed!) We had read the the line is very very long for the tour, so to get there right when they opened at 9:30. We arrived around 9:45 am and I kid you not stood in line for about an hour and a half. I had read the Diary of Anne Frank probably 5-6 times in my life and was very eager to go. (I am fascinated by all things holocaust as sad as it is) Ryan on the other hand had never read it and barely knew much about it. Overall, I was very glad we went. I was bummed we could not take photos inside and also that a lot of the house was blocked off. (ie: the attic!) It was still cool to do and I would recommend it, as would Ryan.Now Yall, this is where we can stop and say: this is where it all went down hill, this is the moment in time where everything changed, where we can point to and find where the mistake happened, looking back, that’s when we should have just left this beautiful city. But we didn’t.Our next stop for the day would be the Heineken Tour. The walk there was beautiful, I was pleasantly surprised of how beautiful Amsterdams streets and the Canals were. To this day one of the prettiest cities I’ve seen! When we arrived at the Tour we became the Dumb Americans that we usually get stereotyped as. Apparently we never read the voucher and never printed them. Thankfully with just a 10 minute back towards the direction we came from, we found an excursions kiosis in the middle of the street and got everything sorted out. (read your vouchers, kids!) The heineken tour was more interesting than I figured it would be. Esp since I don’t really love beer. (i’m a cider girl) At the end we had 2 free tokens for 2 beers each. (4 total between us) I’m not sure what ended up happening but everytime we went up we got 2 beers for each 1 token. Another time grabbed a few free ones in general. By the end we were at about 12 free beers. Now I held my weight as best I could, but like I said I don’t love beer. I chugged about 4 and Ryan handled the rest like the tank that he is.From here we had a few hours to kill before our romantic dinner cruise on the canal with all inclusive drinks. (viator!) So already being quite ee tipsy we decided it was a smart idea to make our own bar crawl towards the meeting point for the canal cruise. (My memory from here on out is quite fuzzy so bare with me) Well 9043257458 drinks later, we looked at our watch and saw that we had missed our prepaid for dinner cruise. We were very disappointed so we decided ever more alcohol was needed to easy the pain.The next snapshot memory I had was being completely drunk and looking at Ryan and both saying “when in Amsterdam!”*side note* Neither Ryan or I smoke weed.*side note 2* The rumors of needing a citizens card (to not sell to tourists) to buy some Mary J is false.*side note 3* The Devils Lettuce is readily available, literally every turn, every street, in Amsterdam. On each street there is AT LEAST 2-3 coffee shops selling “cosmic Brownies” and pretty much ANY baked good or food with some hash in it ie: banana bread, cookies, granola bars, you name it. They are located in a normal coffee house with nothing sketchy about them. Think starbucks (okay maybe not as commercial) but with marijuana.Next memory goes as followed: We are extremely drunk and order 1 brownie to split. Each eat half. Didn’t taste bad from what I remember but I do recall it being quite dry and very dense. 5-10mins ( If that ) Pass and we both agree that we don’t feel anything. “Maybe these are really weak?” “ Maybe they can only put a certain amount in them” “That must be why they are legal bc there’s not alot in them” …….So we bought another. Split it. So were at a full brownie each at this point in under 15 mins.Next snapshot memory: Starving!! Sitting on the cobblestone road with my back against a brick wall, in the middle of the street scarfing a medium pizza by myself. Ryan tells me “ Don’t move!” and I see him go across the street to some restaurant with a Orange/Red sign.Next memory: stumbling into our hostel around 1 or 2 am. Dying laughing. Now if you don’t know much about a hostel, YOU SHARE THE ROOM WITH OTHER PEOPLE, and bathrooms are down the hall. (and in this hostels case, upstairs. Only the showers were on our floor. You store your belongings in a locker in the room. So here we are climbing into the bunk bed with the giggles. Not long after laying down I think to myself….. I’m going to throw up! (raise of hands for all those surprised at this?) And OMG i’m going to throw up now! Well being on the top bunk and being only in a shirt and a thong (why? No clue.) , I knew I wouldn’t make it down the ladder, get dressed, out of the room, up the stairs, and to the bathroom. So being the classy broad that my parents raised me to be (sorry dad!) I through up in the pillow. While Ryan was out cold next to me. Folded the pillow in half and literally crawled down the ladder and outside the room. Only to remember there’s no damn bathrooms on the floor! So I threw up in a garbage can in the hallway. This is about the time the weed brownie must have been in full swing bc I felt like I could no longer walk. My limbs didn’t seem to be working.*side note* since this time, I’ve learned from veteran pot enthusiast that even folks that partake on a regular basis, should only take one or two bits of an edible at a time and LET THE WEED KICK IN ABOUT 45- HOUR LATER. Not smart ryan and christine.So back to the story: I just threw up in a hallway garbage can and Im struggling to move. I remember thinking I need help! I need Ryan right now. So I gather all my energy and crawl to the door of our room. Its freaking locked guys. Just like a hotel, You need a key card to get in and guess who didn’t grab that after puking in a pillow case. This girl.So I pound on the door trying to get someone to walk up and let me in. No one. I keep pounding and NO ONE IS WAKING UP. I’m still throwing up and if you forgot, IM PANTLESS in the HALLWAY! One person from another room did walk by and asked if I needed anything (of course i did!) but too scared he was going to kidnap me and Ryan would never know where I went, I opted out.My next memory is Laying on the bedroom floor of our room because I physically could not climb up the ladder to wake ryan. (someone must have let me in?)Memory: Ryan wakes up EXTREMELY angry that I wasn’t wearing pants. (totally justified!) He literally picks me up and carries me to the showers, puts a pair of his jeans on me, where I proceed to lay on the ground and throw up for hours into a small little shower drain where Ryan sat there with me the entire time. (half the time sleeping while sitting up, the other half yelling at me) I remember saying over and over again, “Somethings wrong please bring me to the hospital.” (duh somethings wrong your higher than a kite christine) This is also when my thoughts became crystal clear, I remember being 100% conscious of what what happening and what was going on but I had no ability to move my limbs. (that damn weed) It was honestly one of the scariest moments of my life. (dont do drugs kids) At some point of the night I stopped throwing up and Ryan helped me back into bed and we both passed out.Here’s the (not so funny) thing. We had a 630am flight to Paris the next morning. We past out both drunk, high, and without an alarm at somewhere around 3-4am. By the actual grace of God, Ryan woke up around 445/5am to went to pack our stuff so we could leave. I remember panicking because we had accidently left our locker unlocked the night before so someone could have taken our stuff. ( To understand why Ryan was even more nervous please read his version of this night and hell explain that there was an engagement ring hidden in that bag!)Ryan physically dressed me, and we started our walk about a half mile to the metro station to go to the airport. Now remember we had backpacks, not rolling suitcases. 50lbs on your shoulders hurts and gets tiring even when your not hungover/still drunk/high and throwing up. Oh yeah btw, on that ½ mile walk I through up in EVERY SINGLE garbage can we passed. I must admit for as angry as ryan was with me, he was a real sport. Stopping with me each time. Not saying one snarky comment. Offering to carry my backpack even tho he was also dying and had his own to carry. Ladies: That’s a true man right there. To be that angry, also feeling like shit, but to step up and be a grown man and support you when times are tough.So we get to the airport by some miracle and take those people movers (idk what you guys call them but those flat moving things?) to go through security. I remember being on them and looking down and it was like a rollercoaster ride. It was literally like the things were going up and down hills. I will never forget that image in my head! I remember saying “Ryan do you see that…” and looking over at him as he’s grasping and full body hugging the railing and he says “ya!” If you guys could see how he was holding this railing, let me tell you not 1 person in this airport thought we were in any way sober. Typical americas right. Now Ryans version of the security checkpoint is a lot more eventful than mine so go check that out. My for me I was quite happy when we got to the gate. Also, at this point Ryan joined the team and went to the bathroom to throw up. He threw up in an actual toilet…..what an over achiever!So all is good now we’re at the gate right? Wrong. We board the plane. Ryan puts our backpacks in the overhead compartment and I hear him telling some guy, “omg omg Im so sorry!!” He sits down next to me and goes tell me that the key from our zipper lock (to lock your zippers together so no one else can open your bags – back packing tip!) flung off and hit the guy in the face. Ryan said he literally heard the loud “PING” and the sound of it flying through the air and the whole thing was in slow motion. (brownies,yall.) The man gave Ryan a very strange look. And we were off. Now I don’t remember this flight so I’m not sure if I slept on it. But the landed in Paris around 8am, headed straight to our Airbnb (after an interesting cab ride) and passed out ALL DAY. Yes our first time in Paris we wasted by sleeping till 7:30pm! Where we woke up went to some random restaurant where no long spoke english and we couldn’t read the menus. ( I some sort of pizza with a sunny side egg on it?) Then went back to bed.Oh By the way. When we woke up finally sane and sober on day 2 of Paris. Ryan FOUND THE ZIPPERS KEY LOCK! IT NEVER FLUNG OFF. THE WHOLE THING NEVER HAPPENED!Lessons from Amsterdam…….. Dont do drugs kids.